NOT goodbye. See you later.

On the last day of school, I wanted to say something to all the kids, give them a little goodbye speech. I decided to write it out in advance, to make sure that I included everything I wanted to include; you get in the moment and you forget stuff and then after it sucks that you left out something important....so this is what I wrote:

Here’s the thing. I’m not good at goodbyes. I don’t like to lose people that I’m close to, people that I love, and so I don’t like to say goodbye.

So here’s what you need to know. First, this is not goodbye. This is….see you later. Because you’ll come back and visit next year, and you’ll contact me this summer about your summer literacy challenge or just to say hi, and you’ll keep in touch, and it’s not goodbye.

I have loved every minute of being your teacher. You are all so amazing – smart, kind, funny, creative, brave, silly, sweet – awesome. I am so glad I came to 8th grade this year so that I got to have this experience with you all. It has been my privilege to get to spend a few months, or a year, or two years with some of you, as your teacher.

I’m sure I have learned as much from you all as you have from me; maybe more in some cases. I wish I could be your teacher forever, that I could go with you to high school and just keep learning and growing together. But I can’t (which I’m sure some of you are really glad about), and that’s why you’re going to come visit.

As you go into your summers and you celebrate finishing 8th grade and starting high school, as you spend time with your friends and your families, as you have fun and sleep and play games and read and write and live….remember to be happy. Remember that you shine, that when I look into this room I see the glow that comes from deep within every one of you. Remember that you can change the world, and that you can be the people that I teach my future students about.

In Freedom Writers, when Miep Gies comes and talks to the students, one student gets up and says that she’s his hero. And she says that they are the real heroes and their faces are engraved on her heart. You are all heroes to me. You all do things that are heroic every day, whether big or small. You are heroes. And your faces are engraved on my heart.

I cried when I read it, each class. Each class, at least a few people cried too. (Over a third of my first period was openly weeping by the end. LOVE the power of language.) Each class, after I finished, the class had a brief moment of complete silence....and then each class, everyone started clapping. Each class, as they filed out, every single kid came and hugged me - even my homie who didn't like my class. Maybe the speech helped him realize that I'd meant all of it, everything I'd said to him this year, everything I'd tried to do to help him; maybe he was finally able to let go of whatever was going on with him enough to be in the moment more clearly....or maybe he just didn't want to be the one kid who didn't hug me when all his friends were. :)

Actually, one kid did not hug me, just waved, but that's of course totally fine; he and I got along okay but we certainly weren't close. And on that last day of school, we were hugging up a storm everywhere: during the awards assembly, in classes, in the post-class celebration....a lot of people got their 12 hugs a day for growth (and then some) that day.

Before I read the speech for the first time, I felt a little weird. Would they think it was lame? Would they be like, dude, don't be pathetic? And some of them probably did feel that way - but I don't care. I'm an emotional person and I wanted them to know how much I care about them and how much I have enjoyed being their teacher. I wanted to end the year with that. Some of these kids were there on my very first day of being a teacher ever; I wanted to close out their middle school career with....well, with joy.

They promised to come visit. They better keep that promise.

(Image credit to megarooo)

Beginning of the end.

The tears started for me on Friday, when I had kids do my end-of-year evaluation. This one was more extensive than my trimester ones:

In this class, I feel I learned: a lot some a little

I tried my best in this class: all of the time a lot of the time some of the time

The pace of the class was: just right too fast too slow

Ms. Teachin’ is patient: all of the time a lot of the time some of the time

Ms. Teachin’ is concerned about me and my life. Yes No

I liked this class. Yes No

The following were the three most important things that helped me as a reader this year (pick 3):

_Booktalks

_Classroom library

_Conversations with classmates

_Independent reading time in class

_Personalized book recommendations

_Public library

_Readaloud

_School librarian/library

_Teacher who reads

_Other _______________

Any comments?

The following were the three most important things that helped me as a writer this year (pick 3):

_Class magazines

_Creative choice

_Mentor texts

_MyAccess

_Portfolios

_Self-assessing/reflections

_Sharing work in class

_Teacher who writes

_Using technology

_Writing in a variety of genres

_Other ___________________

Any comments?

One thing I enjoyed was...because...

One thing I didn't enjoy was...because...

I wish we could have...

I did a good job with….

I could have done better with

Ms. Teachin’ did a good job with...

Ms. Teachin’ could have done better with...

I feel Ms. Teachin’ cares about me as a person and a student when...

I feel Ms. Teachin’ does NOT care about me as a person and a student

when...

(Optional) Anything else to add?

Only one kid said that he had not liked my class, and that was okay; he struggled a lot personally the second half of the year, and he just did not like my touchy-feely style. He didn't like any class, though, so I don't take it TOO personally. And the evaluations were helpful - I need to work on my patience, as most kids said I was patient "a lot of the time," but I also got some "some of the time"s. Which is probably true, so that gives me a goal for next year. I still have to go through and really analyze all of it, especially what kids said was most helpful in their reading and writing growth, but that gives me something to do this summer :)

But why I cried.....two kids wrote things in the "Anything else to add?" section that just made me lose it. One was the Antagonizer (who I struggled with all year - we had our ups and downs every week, sometimes every day, but overall he did better for me than in most of his classes). He wrote that he was sorry if it ever seemed like he was mad at me, that when he was mad, it wasn't at me, it was that he was mad at himself for his behavior. Not only is that a crazy good insight to have about yourself, but it was so nice that he apologized for some of those difficulties.

And the other one....oh my. This was a student that I had in 6th grade too, and we always got along well, but I never thought that she particularly loved me - she's just not one of those effusive kids. But what she wrote....

She said, "I have loved my 8th grade year in Ms. Teachin's class. She is always here for us, her students, and we always know we can go to her with any problems. I wish I could have Ms. Teachin' as a teacher every year."

I wish I could have Ms. Teachin' as a teacher every year.

The tears just came when I read that, because.....I mean, seriously, how nice is that? You see why I love this group of kids? They say awesome stuff like that!

Between that and the kid who'd said that I'd made Language Arts her favorite subject when she'd never liked it before, I can't imagine better compliments.

(Photo credit to jenny downing)