Mixed messages

I am feeling rejected.

I STILL have not met with the Eyeliner Queen. I got cancelled on, and when I try to reschedule, I can’t get anyone on the phone.

As previously mentioned, I’m concerned about the Charmer. So I talked to his AP about me trying to mentor him as well, even if he’s not at our school. She agreed, so I started calling. I left two messages before I finally got mom on the phone (she said she hadn’t had a phone; possible, but would she still have had voicemail? I don’t know). I explained my concerns and that I wanted to keep in touch with him; she said she thought it was a great idea; we set up a time for the three of us to sit down and talk. That was today. When I called to go meet them, she wouldn’t answer her phone. I left a message, and another one an hour later.

Here’s the thing. I can handle rejection; I don’t like it, obviously, but I can deal with it. But I really don’t like these mixed messages. If the Charmer or his mom have decided they don’t want me to mentor him, that’s their prerogative and I’ll respect that. But it’s frustrating to be told that this is a great idea, how wonderful, more teachers should do this kind of thing, and then get sent to voicemail. If the Eyeliner Queen’s mom has decided she doesn’t want me to meet her daughter, her choice. Just tell me.

I could just stop calling – take the hint and move on. And maybe I will. But I don’t want these kids to think I’m giving up on them like so many other people have in their lives, so I’m not ready to go there yet.

I just don’t know what to do.

(Photo credit to brothergrimm,


OKP said...

Maybe tell them that they need to start telling you what they WANT, not what they think people want to hear. Give a deadline for communication, stick to it, and let the rest go. Wait for them (or him) to come to you.

teachin' said...

That's probably a really good suggestion. For the Eyeliner Queen, should I just call and leave a message saying that I'd like to meet with her this summer but I'm not getting the sense that they want that to happen, and if they do, please call me by xxx date so that we can make plans?

I'm not great at dealing with this kind of stuff (clearly), so I really appreciate your input!

OKP said...

Well, it seems the Universe answered your first appeal*, so maybe it's listening about TEQ. If I run it through the simulation machine, my approach would be this:

"Hello, Eyeliner Queen, this Teachin' calling about finding some time to meet this summer. I'd like to talk to you about Specific Item One, and Specific Item Two, and definitely need your input. I know our time is valuable, so let's keep the meeting short. I'm available during the week of _____. If that isn't convenient for you, please get back to me about a time that does work, and I'll fit it into my schedule. Call me at ___, or email me at ___. I'm looking forward to hearing from you."

Then it's her move. But that's me -- I'm not you or in your situation, nor do I know TEQ, so use your best judgement!

*Be careful with the Universe, though -- I once asked for a little more time by myself, and got stuck in a two hour traffic jam with no one else in the car to talk to. Oh, Universe. You're so silly.

teachin' said...

Univerrrrrrse [shaking fist]!

My issue with the Eyeliner Queen is that the number I've been using is her mom's cell (they don't have a home phone) and I don't think the messages are getting passed on. I have the sense that the Eyeliner Queen wants to meet me, but her mom is...less amenable. So I don't know. I like your message, I'm just not sure if it'll work with the mom. Bleah. This is frustrating.

OKP said...

Gotcha. Well, meet with the Queen. Send a letter home to the Queen Mother?

"I'm a dreamer but I ain't the only one Got problems but we love to have fun" -K'naan, "Dreamer"

I teach eighth grade Language Arts at an urban school. My kids kick ass and will change the world. I want everyone to know.
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