My mad problem solving skillz (I hope)

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm having to deal with behavior that's not changing because I haven't figured out the root of the problem yet.

I have this kid in my eighth period - the Antagonizer. I wrote briefly about him a while back when he tried to start a fight two different times on his first day at school. His first freakin' day! On his third day, our school resource officer took him to a local youth detention facility. It's not precisely juvie, it's sort of part intervention and part deterrent, and he's on a contract with them now. Which theoretically SHOULD be helping. And yet.

The Antagonizer is low, academically. Very low. But he's also a cool kid, and he doesn't want his friends to know that he struggles as much as he does. So rather than admit he needs help, he plays the class clown. Sings, makes noises, talks, tells jokes, asks to go to the bathroom or to get water...does anything and everything to keep from working.

He and I have a good relationship. I know that. He's told other teachers that I'm his favorite teacher, and he called me three times after school on Friday to give me updates on time and location for a football game of his that I went to today (and had he not called, I would never have found the game, so I really appreciated that). (Interestingly, his team was playing RB's team - but now they get along, so no more obnoxious posturing, which is nice.)

And that's part of why I'm finding this so frustrating. I'm not used to having a good relationship with a kid and having them STILL undermine my class at every opportunity. My connections with kids are my greatest strength (I think), and that normally pays off. And maybe it's paying off a BIT with the Antagonizer as he's not quite as incredibly obnoxious as he was a few weeks ago, but he still will not sit down and attempt to do his work.

I've spent a looooooooot of time thinking about why over the last few days, and I have a number of theories. First, his spelling is atrocious, and he knows it, and it really stresses him out. He freezes and refuses to do anything when he doesn't know how to spell a word. He also struggles with processing and has a hard time coming up with anything to write about. In addition, he's a very athletic kid and I have him right after gym (in a class that's a bit of a disaster [we keep hearing that 7th period gym is totally out of control]), and he's all wound up when he gets to me.

So three possible roots. And now my possible solutions.

For the spelling, I've emphasized time and again that spelling isn't being graded, but I'm thinking he needs a personal Quick Word Dictionary for his common errors AND that perhaps if he circles the words he doesn't think are spelled right, then I can spend a minute or two with him after he's done some writing and can help him correct those.

For the processing, I think he's an oral processor, or at least he sure does loooooooove to talk. So I'm thinking we'll try having him talk through his ideas verbally before he tries to get them down on paper. I'll have him do it with me for his quick writes, and maybe have him choose a partner for other writing.

And for the being ridiculously hyper....that one I'm not as sure about. The school's making some changes to that gym class at trimester, which may help. I'm also thinking we'll try coming up with some sort of signal that he can use to let me know he needs a brief break and I can let him go out to the hall for a minute to work off some energy as long as he comes back in and gets right back to work.

I sat with the Antagonizer's dad at the game today and ran through my theories with him - Dad agreed on all counts, so I feel like I'm on the right track. I'm not sure if my solutions will actually solve anything, but they're worth a try, yes? Because in the end, it's on me if my class is out of control.

(Photo credit to The Truth About.....)

Who can you talk to?

Yesterday I was feeling a little discouraged. I'd had a few seventh graders come into my room after school to chat, two of whom I'd had last year, and a friend of theirs.

Not totally sure how they got on this subject, but they decided to spend a while telling me about how much THEY like me, despite the fact that everyone ELSE didn't. They listed off a handful of kids who apparently think I'm super mean.

Of the kids they listed, I know for a fact that three of the five do like me, or at least do most of the time (and I'm fairly sure the other two do, though one is currently thoroughly annoyed with me because I won't let her feel up her boyfriend in the hallway - dude, I AM super mean), but it's still sort of a downer to be told otherwise. Plus I'd had a run in earlier with a kid over her attitude, and one of my favorites (Motormouth) just would.not.do.anything in class. He was the whiniest I've ever seen him. So I was a little blah.

Today I got two new students. One seems very nice, though she cried a lot (moved over a thousand miles, first move ever, happened because stepdad got fired, just generally freaked out), but the other....may be more challenging. I'm pretty sure he and I will be able to get along eventually, but I think we're going to have some conversations in the meantime.

We had five conversations just today - one at lunch and then four during class. He was not as amenable to redirection as one would hope on his first damn day (really? You're going to just put your head down on your desk during my class? While I'm standing right next to you? Really?) though he did seem to sort of reach out at one point.

I was having conversation #4 with him, about how it's really not okay to just tell the whole class how boring writing is. To which he replied that that's just how he is, he says everything's boring, even football. My (possibly charitable) interpretation is that means that he says even really fun stuff is boring so I shouldn't take it personally that writing is boring because he didn't intend to be rude.

After class, he was ambling down the hall. I glanced that direction and saw a large group of boys. Soon as I saw them, I knew. A fight was brewing. You know how you can just tell, from the way some are leaning in, some are inching back, the set of their shoulders, the tilt of their head?

So I yelled for the other kid involved to come talk to me. I know him, but not well - I worked with him after school a couple of times two years ago, and I've seen him play sports (he's a hell of a running back), but I've never had him in class.

RB came over, looking back the whole way, and I asked what was up. He said that my new boy, the Antagonizer, was claiming that he'd made RB cry in a football game the week before.

I pointed out (a) no one knows this kid or gives a crap what he says, (b) RB is pretty damn popular and the school's star athlete, so what are the odds anyone will listen to this jerk, and (c) RB is having a really good year so far and shouldn't mess it up over some punk.

I asked him if the Antagonizer was worth getting suspended over.

No, he wasn't.

Okay, good. So who was RB going to talk to if this kid upset him? Who could he go to so that he can get through this without getting in trouble?

He shrugged. Didn't know.

"Well, who do you trust? What teacher or administrator do you know well enough to talk to?"

"You, Ms. Teachin'."

Oh. Okay. "Then you come talk to me. Whatever the issue with this kid, you come talk to me instead of getting into it with him. Will you do that?"

He nodded, and I wrote him a pass to class. I'm not sure he'll do it every time, but I think he'll try.

They must not ALL think I'm super mean.

(Photo credit to vagawi)