Sweet Child o' Mine came in after school today. He wanted to use a computer to play a game; I said he could once he finished a science lab that I've been holding for him. He hemmed and hawed a bit, then sat down and got to work. We chatted a bit as he worked and I graded. At one point, he said, "Do they have teachers like you at Local High School?"
"I'm sure they do," I replied.
"Because maybe you could just go teach there."
I told him I probably couldn't (honestly, I'm lucky to have a job next year), but that I really appreciated that and that I'd keep an eye on the job postings just in case. He nodded. A few minutes later, he asked, "So.....would it be okay if I came back once I'm in LHS and you could still help me with my homework sometimes?"
"Of course it would," I said.I don't imagine he'll ever come back for that, not actually...but how sweet that he asked.
And even more - how amazing that he's planning on doing homework in high school.(Image credit to laffy4k)
'Sup, y'all? It's time for some carnival madness! We have a buncha good entries this round (though we can always use more....submit for next time here!), so settle in and get reading.Mathew Needleman presents What to do When Children Cry in Class posted at Creating Lifelong Learners. Although I laughed so hard that I cried the first time I saw this video a while back, it's a serious topic when it comes to the classroom. Erin Topping submitted a piece by Q6, described as, "a blog that doesn't update that often, but usually has some interesting things to say -- this one's a radical grading paradigm shifty thing": Grade Calculation, Student Focus, and Winter Sports posted at Assistive Principles . . .. And it is interesting indeed. Sarah submitted THREE (love those overachievers!) and told me to choose...so I'm going with Confessions: Boundary Issues posted at Confessions of an Untenured Teacher. I totally get where she's coming from. Pamela presents CreekSchooling posted at Blah, Blah, Blog. What a great experience....I want my kids to get to do more stuff like that! Sarah Garb presents Hold Your Nose posted at Dead Class Pets. I like fries too....Scott Palat presents Student Success Resolution #6: Get Help When Needed posted at Colleen Palat. Oh my GOD I wish they would do this.TIC Technology In Class presents Whom Do You Help? posted at Technology In Class. I write a lot about the needy wacky kids, because they make for good stories....but I'm with the poster here. We gotta think more about the middle.Georgina Baeza presents Mr. Hinz posted at La Brown Girl. I wanna be in the superhero teacher crew....Sarah Ebner presents An education in good manners - are schools and teachers given too many parental responsibilities? posted at School Gate - Times Online - WBLG. Wouldn't it be nice to give BACK some of these responsibilities? Sarah's a rockstar, and she's got kickin' guest posters too!Rhonda Franz presents School Choice and Student Discipline posted at Parenting Squad. This really is a HUGE issue. Like, ridiculously so.Adriana presents How To Kill a Dream posted at Today's Life Psychology. You gotta keep your dreams.Rachel presents Harris Burdick - Who's there? posted at Progressively Unnecessary. I know I'm a better writer when I think about who's reading my work. teachin' presents Hell of a day. posted at I'm a Dreamer. I still can't even believe this day. Like...ridiculous. On so many levels.Oh, and some list posts. I deleted most of 'em but these three seemed valid. (If I didn't include your list post and you think it was actually education related, comment, and I'll add it in.)Florine Church presents 100 Creative Ways to Excite & Inspire Young Readers posted at Online Degrees. Zach Macias presents 10 Essential Web Tools for Teachers posted at Online Teacher Certification. Wise Bread presents How to answer 23 of the most common interview questions posted at Wise Bread. Thanks to everyone who submitted - don't forget to keep 'em coming. Carnivals are always in the works, and YOU make them successful!
A student I adore sent me this email today:Hi Ms. Teachin' -
I'm going to be leaving the school to live with my dad. I know it would be better if I just waited to the end of the school year but that probably wont happen. I just wanted to thank you for all of the support you gave me, it means a lot to me. Hopefully I'll be able to see you again but if I don't, Bye.Apparently she ditched one day last week, and her mom decided she was done; washed her hands of her daughter. Her beautiful, intelligent, hard-working, sweet, amazing daughter, who sometimes makes mistakes since she's, you know, a KID. Sigh.Although I think living with her dad will be better for her (she's a lot happier when she interacts with her dad and much more nervous around her mom), I'm so sad that it's happening so close to the end of her last year in the school. It's just one more month - I'm really hoping she'll be able to find transportation back (that's the issue apparently) for such a short time frame. I emailed her back right away to say how much I'd miss her and how much I hope it works out....she's a fabulous, fabulous, fabulous kid who really will change the world.
This is what's hardest for me about my school, bar none - the mobility. It comes with the poverty, I get that, but it's so heartbreaking to watch kids I love leave....and it happens all the time. The Charmer. DC. BB Bob. The Eyeliner Queen. The Natural Athlete. Slick. The Goofball. Kids I adore, kids I worked so hard to reach, kids who learned and grew and changed and were the better for having been in my class (at least mostly)....and they're all gone. And I'll probably never see most of them again.
I have to believe that at least some of the changes are for the best, and that they'll be okay no matter what (and they will, they will, I know that), and that they did learn something in my class, and that they end up okay. But it's hard to watch them leave and know it might be the last time.
They're good kids. They deserve the best. They deserve to be in good situations and I hope they are, I hope they're in better situations than before, I hope they find some stability and happiness.
But I miss them.
I hope she keeps in touch.
(Image credit to Eisenheim.)
....and I have gotten some awesome submissions (thanks!) but still want more! So. Here's the deal. If you are reading this post and you have a blog that is related to education in any way....would you please do a quick post asking people to submit here by midnight Eastern time tomorrow (And. If you miss the deadline. Let's be honest - hit me up by Monday evening and I'll probably still work you in. See? That's how much I love you! That's how much I want your work in the carnival! That's how awesome you are!)? Because, sure, I can go around and just gather posts I like from the millions of blogs I read (and I will if I have to), but I'd love to get more people submitting the work they want others to read. So any posts soliciting submissions would be much appreciated.And. If you have not yet submitted. Do it. Do it now. Look at your posts, recent or otherwise, and choose one you like for any reason, and submit.It doesn't have to be the most amazing post ever written in the history of the world; it just has to relate to education and be from an actual person. If you submit it and it's a real post and not just a spam list post about the 50 greatest things anyone could do in their classroom ever ever ever for reals yo (of which I have gotten about 20 and ain't none of 'em getting posted), then your post WILL be in the carnival! The point is to share ideas on education on a wider-than-usual scale, so that you find awesome new blogs and people who've never read you before find your awesome blog, and we all feel more connected and happy and yay! So go. Go now. Choose one and submit and then come back on Tuesday and read the whole dang thing. It's gonna be sweet. For reals.
I used my relationship with a student the other day to try to change his behavior in someone else's class.
It's the first time I've done this explicitly. Sure, I've talked to kids before to try to get them to change things, and sometimes it's worked and sometimes it hasn't. It's a bit of a sensitive issue for some teachers, because what it means is that I have a better relationship with that student than they do, and I know a few of my colleagues feel sort of bad about that, and I try to be careful with that. I go to other teachers for help when I know a kid who performs well for them is being a pain for me, but since relationships are one of my strong points, it doesn't happen with every teacher. And so I try to step in only if it's a kid I'm actively mentoring, or if a teacher requests the help.
This one was both. My pal Sweet Child o' Mine is hugely obnoxious in one of his electives. He doesn't like the class, he doesn't like the teacher, and it's the last period of the day so he's just kinda done anyway.
The teacher is in her first year. She tries really hard and she cares about the kids and their success, but she's new and she's struggling with her classroom management and her student interactions, and it's been a tough year for her.
A while ago, she asked me for help. I'm on my building's leadership team because I facilitate our PBS stuff, and she asked to come observe one of my classes and if I'd observe hers. She observed me and I observed her other 8th grade class and offered some thoughts, but I haven't done the one with SCoM yet.
Apparently Wednesday he was terrible. Rude, refused to work, disruptive to other students (with whom he is friends, but still). Thus Thursday he was supposed to go to her for detention. He went to my room instead.
She asked me if she could go get him (I was still in the cafeteria talking to a colleague) and I said of course.It didn't go well.
When she told him to go, apparently he said, "When I'm finished eating." She doesn't have the power to compel him to go because he doesn't respect her, and I don't think she knew what to do, and she came back to the cafeteria practically in tears because of it. And I felt so bad for her.
I tried to help. Did she want me to send him down? No, because now she needed time to plan (and I think she didn't want to deal with him after that, for which I don't blame her). Did she want me to come down during his class and the three of us could talk? No...she wasn't sure if she'd have time when the other kids were working independently enough to step outside. Did she want me to come down at the end of the day and we could talk then? No to that too. She just needed some time to think. I said of course, and that's when I offered to use the relationship. I told her he wouldn't be coming to my room for lunch until his behavior improved in her class. She said okay, but I don't think she thought it would make a difference; nothing else has.
When I got back to my room, I pulled SCoM out to the hall. "SCoM, do you treat me with respect?" He said yeah. "Do you treat every teacher with respect?" Yeah again. I persisted. "Do you treat Ms. Elective with respect?"
"....Sometimes."
"Right. But not always. Did you treat her with respect when she came up just now?" "I just asked if I could wait till I was finished eating." "Did you ASK her or did you TELL her?"
He thought briefly. "I think I asked....I don't know."
"Should you have asked or should you have just gone?"
"...I should've gone."
"Yup." I looked at him. "SCoM, you like eating lunch in my room, right? You like that I help you with your work? You like that I give you snacks?" He nodded to each. "As of right now, all that's done. Because right now I don't respect YOU." SCoM looked surprised, but I continued. "I don't respect someone who would be as rude to another human being as you are to her. You treat her badly, and I don't want to be friends with someone who would do that to someone else. So until your behavior in her class changes to be the type of student I know you can be, you and I are not friends. Understood?" He nodded again. "Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you know the problems with your behavior and what you need to do differently?"
"Yeah. I know."
"Then do it." I went back into the room, feeling kind of terrible. I don't like doing this kind of stuff, but no other consequences seem to matter to him (including referrals, detentions, suspensions....), and maybe this one would. He shuffled back in after me. We had maybe a minute left before lunch was over. When the bell rang, I told him to go to class and not be late (he's also tardy to his classes all the time). He nodded, smiling. I added that I didn't think it was funny to be late all the time, and he protested that he didn't either, and stopped smiling. He left, and I went about my business for the next two hours.
After school, he came back to my room. "Ms. Teachin', I was good in class today.""Really good or just a little better?"
"Really good." "Okay, SCoM. I'm glad to hear that. I'll check in with Ms. Elective to see if that's true." I smiled at him, and he smiled back and left.
When I checked, it was true; she said that his behavior was enough better that she'd be happy if it was that way every day.
This gives me some ideas for how to change things at my school which I'm mulling over now; I'll post about them eventually. But for now, I'm just glad that the situation's better for everyone involved.
(Image credit to Eye of Einstein)
Sometimes I just don't know what to say.I know; that's hard to believe. I am among the chattiest of Cathys, as you can all tell from my remarkably long-winded posts. And usually I'm just fine; I'm lucky enough to process quickly and so I can easily come up with replies to just about anything.Note the "just about."Because....I'm having a hard time with something.I mentioned the other day that my student assistant, Bump It, is probably getting expelled. It's not definite yet, but it's likely - we run a three strikes kinda program for major offenses, and she fulfilled number three a couple of weeks ago (I'm not going to say anymore about why, just for confidentiality, even though this is already fairly anonymous). I heard about it from kids the next day, and was so sad; she's been my assistant since mid-October, which is when she transferred back to my school from the one she'd started at this year.I'd had Bump It in 6th grade. Though she had some anger management and impulse control issues, they never came out in my classroom, so I was happy to try to mentor her when she returned. But in two thirds of the year, she never really opened up. She'd talk to me about stuff if I pushed, but only things I already knew about; maybe twice did she bring up anything new. But she was doing better than last year: grades, attendance, everything. I thought maybe she was growing up, and I was SO happy to see it.And then. This.A few days ago, a friend of Bump It's ran up to me and handed me a letter. I started to read it, but stopped halfway through; I knew from the first chunk that it would make me cry, and I couldn't do that before class. Later, I took the time to read it carefully, and I was right about the tears.She feels hopeless. She's worried she'll never amount to anything. This has made her have goals - she wants to go to college, make something of herself, make her parents proud of her. That last part is especially important: right now, they think that she'll never amount to anything. Or at least that's what they tell her. (Most of my kids have awesome parents. But some make me sad.) She told me that the speeches I used to give her did make a difference, and she referenced a time that I asked her if she wanted to go to college. I don't actually remember this conversation, but apparently she said no, she didn't. And now she does, and she doesn't think she'll be able to.I've been working on a reply. Here's what I've got so far.Dear Bump It,
Thank you so much for your letter; I was so glad to hear from you. It made me really sad when I learned that you'd xxxxxxxxxxx, because you know I think you're so much more than that. I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time right now; you made a really bad choice and now you have to deal with the consequences (that's part of life), but what I want you to remember is that it was one choice, and it does not define who you are.
Bump It, you DO matter. You WILL be able to succeed. I'm so happy to hear that you want to go to college, because you're smart and capable, and you can do wonderful things with your life. Yes, you made a mistake. We all have. It doesn't end things for you.
Someone told me something once that has stuck with me ever since. She said, "Everyone makes mistakes. It's what we do after them that counts." I really believe that. None of us are perfect; we all mess up. It's what we do AFTER we mess up that defines who we are. You have an opportunity here to choose who you want to be, what direction you want to go. And you know the direction you want to go, and you can do it.
Whatever happens now, remember that this is just one part of your life, just one little part. It won't always be easy, and I know that. I know it feels huge right now - I know it's everything right now. But life goes on, and you will grow up, and things will get better. It might not help to hear that because it doesn't really feel real to you right now. Try to remember it, though, and try to focus on your goals for your future.
I want you to know that I will always be here for you and I will always believe in you. If you need help with something, call me. If you have a question, call me. If you want to just talk about life, call me. I believe in you. Believe in yourself.
Your friend,
Ms. Teachin'
What do you think? Okay? Lame? Should I change stuff?
(Image credit to Pink Sherbet Photography)
On a field trip today, Honey, the girl who asked if she could call me Mom, was apparently unaware that I was walking nearby as we were trudging up a hill to join a group. We're having beautiful weather here, but that meant that we were all baking in the sun as we went. One of her friends called back to her to hurry up; she responded with, "F---, n---a, I don't wanna f---in' run," as she flounced along the road.I was, like, ten feet away.I promptly called her out on her choice of phrasing. She was appropriately horrified that I'd heard her and quite apologetic, but that didn't seem sufficient to me in this particular case. I'm not big on detentions or referrals with cursing; they just don't usually seem effective. So I decided a language consequence would match a language infraction quite nicely. "If you're going to use language like that when we're out in public, I don't want you calling me Mom anymore. You're done with it.""But ---""Nope. Done."She tried to argue again and I told her that I wasn't discussing this then and we needed to get with the group. I figured later I'd catch her and we'd have a conversation about appropriate language for public and how it might offend others and how it makes her look bad....but I never got a chance. Honey found me."Ms. Teachin', I want to apologize for what I said before. It was rude and inappropriate and I shouldn't have said it, and I'm really sorry. And I won't do it again." She stood with her head hanging contritely."Thank you, Honey. I appreciate that.""You're welcome. So......" She glanced up from under the curtain of hair shielding her face. ".....does that mean I can call you Mom again?"I laughed and said that she could, as long as she kept the rest of her language within my expectations for decorum. I don't know if it will last, but I like it as a new consequence for now....(Image credit to circo de invierno)
"I'm a dreamer but I ain't the only one Got problems but we love to have fun"
-K'naan, "Dreamer"
I teach eighth grade Language Arts at an urban school. My kids kick ass and will change the world. I want everyone to know.
Sweet Child o' Mine came in after school today. He wanted to use a computer to play a game; I said he could once he finished a science lab that I've been holding for him. He hemmed and hawed a bit, then sat down and got to work. We chatted a bit as he worked and I graded. At one point, he said, "Do they have teachers like you at Local High School?" 
