I have a confession to make.
I am nervous about this year. Like, really nervous. Teacher-dreams, stomach-tension, don’t-wanna-talk-about-it jittery nervous.
What if I can’t handle eighth graders? Sure, I did some student teaching in 8th grade – but my CT had really set everything up and while I had to prove myself to some extent, maybe they just treated me with respect because they liked her.
What if the kids I had in the past are completely different now than they were in 6th grade? What if they are nightmares? Yep, still saw them around the school last year, but in class is a whole different thing.
What if I can’t run a workshop effectively? I really want to try it – it sounds so empowering and engaging for kids – but what if I can’t handle the giving up of control and finding ways to get kids engaged in their learning? Self-direction and choice are great…if they choose and direct.
What if I’ve taken on too much? A new curriculum and grade level, three different leadership teams (one of which I’m really going to be spending a lot of time on, I think), running the school newspaper, an ongoing professional development opportunity….it’s a lot. Can I handle it all without something being done badly? Without several things being done badly?
I think part of my problem is that I haven’t gotten to sit down with my planning partner to figure out how this is all going to look. Nor have I heard back from my principal about our department planning day that we’re supposed to be having. Plus the whole mess with the Charmer sort of discouraged me – perhaps I CAN’T create relationships with kids who are older than sixth grade. I don’t really believe that, but it was a downer.
Today I’m going to sit down with my pals The Writing Workshop and Study Driven and have a heart-to-heart so that I have a better vision of the process and can start working on mentor texts. I’ve emailed and texted people about setting up meetings – if I don’t hear back, that’s on them and I’ll plan by myself. They’ll just have to live with the results. And if I decide I’m doing too much, well, I can always drop a committee or something. Plus who needs sleep anyway?
It’s going to be fine, right? Please tell me it’s going to be fine.
(Poor little turtle. At least HE has a shell... Photo credit to bionicteaching)