Blargh.

I kinda lost it today. The Antagonizer would not stop talking, stop making noises, stop interrupting me and everyone else, stop arguing about every.single.task. He would not start doing his work, start speaking in a respectful way, start listening to directions. And I. Was. Done.

I yanked him out of the class (a speech/language pathologist was in there, so she covered). I stormed and he sulked over to the library. We called dad. I...well, kind of ranted, honestly. You know how they say to write a letter to someone when you're mad but don't send it? This was me sending it.

Dad? Was totally supportive. Totally on my side. Granted, I have spent literally HOURS working with this kid, trying to create a relationship, doing everything I can, and dad knows that, and everything I brought up is stuff that's true, stuff that's in this kid's history, stuff that is a problem......but I still feel like a failure right now.

Here's the thing. I believe that education should be a partnership between schools and families, and I believe that kids need support from both sides.....but I still feel like I failed because I had the Antagonizer call home. Because I couldn't just deal with the issue within my classroom. Because I ceded responsibility. Relinquished authority. Quit.

In the end, I think that's the problem. I don't like to send kids to the office because that shows them that I can't deal with the problem within my classroom. This to me does the same thing. And even more frustrating? It's true. I CAN'T deal with the problem within my classroom. I NEED that help from parents. Is that a bad thing? I'm honestly not sure. Right now, I feel like it is.

Tomorrow I'll go talk to the Antagonizer. I told his dad that I'd like him (kid, not dad) to set up a time to come talk to me about what we're going to do to make class work better for everyone, and he'll have to do that, but I'll probably pull him out of class for a few minutes during one of my plan periods to set up that meeting. Don't think he'll do it on his own.

And.....I'll apologize. Was he in the wrong today? Yeah, he was. I'm sure of that. But I was too - I let my anger get the best of me and that's not fair to anyone involved.